Sunday, December 17, 2006

 

Hundlegreth was sick of his job. He was a consultant for a large law firm in Manhattan. They'd call him in when a particularly sticky plea bargain required a spell of some kind. He'd been in the New York Times when he testified in the Mulroney murder case. Mike Mulroney had killed his business rival's wife using a spell from the Californian Book Of Darkness. Hundlegreth abhorred the stench of celebrity. He couldn't even go to the magic shop without some half assed pagan approaching him for a mystical autograph. One quiet Sunday he left his modest townhome for a walk. He needed to clear his head. He hadn't gone two blocks when a young girl with pink hair and a unicorn t-shirt spotted him.
"Hey! You're Hundlegreth! I'm a big fan."
The old warlock sighed, but put on his game face. "It's always nice to meet a fan," he told her. "I see you're wearing a unicorn shirt."
"Yeah, totally! Isn't it cool? Unicorns are such a source of power. I play one in a LARP that some of us do. I made the costume myself."
Something about this girl made Hundlegreth's gorge rise in him. She struck him as especially flaky. She was one of the people who gave magic a bad name. He could read people quite well, having been plying the dark arts for nearly five decades.
"I love unicorns too. Hey, you know what I like to do with unicorns?"
"No, what?"
"Fire up the grill and make some uniburgers. Come on over sometime."
The girl burst into tears. Hundlegreth smiled smugly to himself and continued on his walk.

by Anonymous 3:04 PM